Come, friends and celebrate with me. Raise your frappuccino cups in victory, for I have conquered my adversary! After having spent the last day in a fierce battle for supremacy, I have won. My enemy was deceptively sneaky, and there were times when I thought I would lose the fight. It didn't help that I was unprepared for the battle and had never suspected that an ambush was lying in wait behind a seemingly easy problem. That problem: assembling an office desk.
Sure, it looked easy on the box. A very simple desk, with the most advanced piece being a pull-out drawer for a keyboard and mouse. It was much heavier than I had perceived it to be, but after I had arraigned to have it deposited into the space I would be assembling it in I thought the rest of the project would be a chunk of brownie (I don't like cake). And the instructions insisted it would only take an hour and a half. How hard could it be?
Never believe the lie of the instructions! Especially when they state how easy something is to put together. They trick you into believing them, and then they have you doubting your sanity and threatening extreme violence against an inanimate object. After studying the pre-assembly instructions (seriously, everything is in the pre-assembly stage until it is finished, right?) I was left in a state of utter confusion. Why weren't the screws called screws? Where is part number 7? What direction is FRONT really supposed to be facing? And there is no such thing as the pre-attached plastic anchors in parts 3, 6, 7, and 4!
It was right after the second interruption of my now two hour fight that I almost threw my hands up in surrender. I had become distracted and had glued a whole section on facing the opposite direction ( I blame that on my unexpected visitor) and the temptation to collapse into despair almost overwhelmed me. But then I remembered who I am. I am Samantha! I am a smart, highly educated woman! I fear no computer desk! It shall not defeat me! I attacked the assorted parts and pieces with renewed vigor, and they bowed to my will. After another hour of gluing and assembling, I stood back and basked in my glory: my desk was complete. In ten minutes I had wrestled it against the wall I had chosen and had placed all my equipment onto it. I held my head up high, my proud gaze critically sweeping over my accomplishment. It looked great!
The desk chair, which had remained in its box the entire duration of my epic battle, must have realized that resistance was futile. Within five minutes I was sitting on it adjusting the hiegth. I was Queen Samantha, sitting on my majestic throne regally surveying my hard won kingdom.
After striving so long and hard, I deserved a reward. And that Grande Java Chip Frappuccino hit the spot. Bring on the next challenge!
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